Do I Need More FOMO In My Life?

I feel like I only need to define FOMO for my mother reading this, but we're all too familiar with that acronym: Fear of Missing Out. Like when half of the people you follow on Instagram seem to be at a Jonas Brothers concert that you couldn't attend, mostly because said concert is hundreds upon hundreds of miles away. Or you know, when you see people you know (or don't even know) doing fun, interesting things while you're sitting in your bed wearing a pair of Victoria's Secret PINK sweatpants that you got your senior year of high school while simultaneously eating cookie butter out of the jar with a tiny spoon to make it last longer.

FOMO used to get to me a lot in college, when I would hear people on the floor of my dorm partying, or really, just communicating with someone other than their roommates. This was also before I felt like a secure person and didn't struggle with deciding whether or not I liked myself that day. I was a different person at age seventeen and eighteen as we all hopefully are. FOMO plagued me when I stayed inside of my dorm and holed away from the people I probably should have been hanging out with but instead chose to ignore because I was, like, afraid of them thinking I was weird or ugly or something, I don't remember what the insecure version of myself thought.

My FOMO was likely just rooted in my insecurity and inability to be able to spend time alone and be content with it. I've always been great at keeping my own company, but I used to feel bad about it because it wasn't something I was choosing to do, it was just what I was left with due to my own refusal to be a teenager and make new friends. It wasn't so much a conscious choice as just what I was left with. Now, I'm content with my alone time because it's chosen by me purposefully.

I don't really feel anything when I see people places. I live in New York City and follow a lot of people who are from the city. My feed is inundated with cool things happening in the city and while I do save plenty of them to my NYC folder on Instagram and have an ongoing list of favorites on my map to check out, I don't usually stomp my feet and wish I was doing something else.

Like right now, the weather is gorgeous and I went out to brunch, but immediately came home, stripped out of my jeans, took out my contacts, and put on my comfies. I was scrolling through Instagram and saw people at their NYFW events and out and about in the city (or even their cities, if they aren't NYC based) and had a brief thought that perhaps I should be doing the same thing, immediately replaced by the happiness I felt lounging in my bed.

I love that I'm content spending time alone and time in my apartment, especially. I like being an introvert in the sense that it truly does save me a lot of time and money and is just all around easier when you have a "limited" group of friends who have lives of their own. But I've truly embraced my introverted status to the point where time at home alone is occasionally preferred, especially after a particularly busy week or weeks. I don't feel like I'm missing out, but in reality, I probably am to some degree. There's only so much life to live in the comfort of my own bedroom.

There are times I wish I was a bit more affected by FOMO. I guess it links together with the comparison game, but it makes me wonder if I'm not doing enough in my life to be fulfilled. Am I fulfilled? I feel fulfilled, to some degree, as much as a 23-year-old who literally doesn't know what she wants out of any aspect of her life could be. But am I settling for my introverted life? Or is that just who I am? Do I need to experience more FOMO to light the fire under my ass? Am I not taking advantage of what there is to offer in this city or is it fine that I'm taking my time? It's not like I'm going anywhere! Whether the city likes it or not, I'm here for the long haul (the Longest of Hauls™).

I feel like people tell you not to get too comfortable or stagnant with what you are doing. Is being comfortable and content the opposite of FOMO? Is there a balance that comes with being happy with your life but also wanting more and experiencing those moments where you wish you were there? Or is that just thinly veiled comparison envy?