For so long, I hated my nose. I hated it's shape and how it looked completely different from everybody else's. I hated the way it made my smile look odd and the way it made my side profile look terrible. I wanted to change everything about it. I used to beg my mom for plastic surgery or anything that would make it look like a "normal nose".
Everybody I went to school with had normal noses, the cute button noses that everybody commented on. Nobody else had the beak that I was convinced that I had (in all honesty, it's not that bad). The only person I knew as a child who had a nose like mine was my father, and I hate to say it, but sometimes I resented him for it. It was the reason why I didn't have the same nose and my mom and brother, and the reason that I made myself miserable for so many years.
Nobody actively teased me about the size of my nose, though I did have a run in with some rude boys my first year of high school that was easily solved by a bold and brave friend of mine. After that, it was smooth sailing, yet I still despised my face because of it. It wasn't fair to compare myself to my peers, yet it became an obsession. I'd examine their side profiles to see if anybody's nose has any resemblance of mine. And I'd become angry because nobody did. It's like I wanted them to suffer along with me.
I don't know when this changed, or why really, but around my senior year, I got sick of complaining. I got sick of pushing up my nose from the bottom to see what it looked like flat. I got annoyed with contouring it every which way to create the illusion that it was smaller. Mostly, I got annoyed with myself for caring so much. So I stopped. I say it a lot in real life, but sometimes it's all about faking it until you make it. I pretended that I didn't care for so long before I realized that I actually didn't.
I've come to the point in my life where I've accepted the way my face looks. I don't necessarily like it all the time (see: my terrible skin), but I will never wish for plastic surgery again, that's for sure. That's just silly, isn't it? Will that fix the problem of the ugly hearts that some people possess? Probably not.
Everybody I went to school with had normal noses, the cute button noses that everybody commented on. Nobody else had the beak that I was convinced that I had (in all honesty, it's not that bad). The only person I knew as a child who had a nose like mine was my father, and I hate to say it, but sometimes I resented him for it. It was the reason why I didn't have the same nose and my mom and brother, and the reason that I made myself miserable for so many years.
Nobody actively teased me about the size of my nose, though I did have a run in with some rude boys my first year of high school that was easily solved by a bold and brave friend of mine. After that, it was smooth sailing, yet I still despised my face because of it. It wasn't fair to compare myself to my peers, yet it became an obsession. I'd examine their side profiles to see if anybody's nose has any resemblance of mine. And I'd become angry because nobody did. It's like I wanted them to suffer along with me.
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I don't know when this changed, or why really, but around my senior year, I got sick of complaining. I got sick of pushing up my nose from the bottom to see what it looked like flat. I got annoyed with contouring it every which way to create the illusion that it was smaller. Mostly, I got annoyed with myself for caring so much. So I stopped. I say it a lot in real life, but sometimes it's all about faking it until you make it. I pretended that I didn't care for so long before I realized that I actually didn't.
You are gorgeous just the way you are! I struggled with accepting my weirdly small teeth. But just like you I learned to embrace it and told myself that it was what made me unique! Lovely post, very inspiring. (:
ReplyDeleteEmily | E is for Elegance
Well thank you! Embracing what makes you different (oh no, this is going to sound lame no matter how I word it, haha) is so key nowadays with different society "norms" that aren't really that normal at all. Glad you feel the same way too! :)
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