Chances are that at some point in your life, you are going to have a roommate. Whether it be in the dorms at university or your first apartment. If you go through your entire life without a roommate, I would accuse you of being a liar. With roommates comes new challenges and feelings that you never thought possible. I came from a home where I had my own room and privacy from age six until I moved out before I went away to school. Even when I come home I still have my own bedroom to go back to, as I have not yet been completely replaced (though my parents often joke about getting a foreign exchange student to replace my presence in the house).
Some people choose to room with their friends, and some decide to go in completely blindly and hope that their Residence Life staff at their college does a decent job. Where I was going to school, I knew absolutely no one and therefore could not request a roommate. Instead, I filled out a little survey and fact sheet, saying whether I was a night-owl or morning person (Answer: both), what my study habits were, and some of my hobbies and interests, including my major and whatnot. About two months before I left for school, I got an e-mail telling me who was my roommate and who were my two suitemates. All we got was each other's names, where we were from, an e-mail, and if we were lucky, a cell phone number. That's it.
In my case, one of my suitemates decided not to live on campus anymore and about two weeks later, we got a new letter in the mail and e-mail letting us know about the newest addition to our suite. We communicated via e-mail about general interests and who was going to bring what to the room. Other than that, we were four strangers planning to move in together at the end of August. It sounds scary because, for me, it was. I was terrified that they were going to think I was this horrendously weird girl who did not know how to shut up and sang too loudly in the shower and cared too much about what she looked like. On another hand, I had tried to look up the three girls on social media to find out more about what they were like. I found two of the girls, one of them being my roommate. Her Facebook profile was full of, erm, darker interests. The music she liked was heavy, the authors she liked were morbid and depressing, and her profile picture was two slices of bacon, a cute play-on to those equality pictures that a lot of users had for a while. Needless to say, I was absolutely terrified to meet her on move-in day. I was half-expecting Lola Martinez from Zoey 101 (remember when she pretended to be a goth girl?) to be sitting on her bed, doing blood sacrifices and burning incense. My mind likes to wander to the worst places sometimes.
I no longer anxiously awaited move-in day and instead felt scared and nauseous. Let me just tell you now that I was worrying for no reason. Sometimes Facebook can be dangerous when it comes to learning more about someone else. I still have not asked my roommate about her Facebook page and it hasn't come up in conversation either.
Roommates can be tough. You may not get along, or you may get along fabulously. My suitemates and I get along wonderfully. My roommate and I have our differences. We do not fight, but I prefer sitting in silence than chatting with her. And sometimes that is going to happen. There are ways to deal with it, some more proper than others.
Do not verbally fight. It's not worth it, and it will only make things more awkward and tense between you two. Plenty of girls on my floor yell and scream at each other (hell, even the guys do!) over silly matters and it a. annoys the entire floor because the walls are paper thin b. is usually resolvable by a civil conversation.
Leave the room if you are annoyed with something your roommate is doing. I will usually go out into the living room in the off chance that my roommate is actually home and is, for lack of better words, annoying the shit out of me. If you don't have a living room at your dorm, maybe the library, study room, or gym is an option. Headphones were also invented for noisy and irritating roommates, I think. In all seriousness, some loud tunes will drown out them asking their father to do their physics homework for them at midnight.
At the end of the day, you just have to remember that they're only your roommate temporarily. Think of them as a lesson that you have to learn. You need to learn how to tolerate others, share a small space, and practice self-control as smothering them in the middle of the night when they tell you that your music is too loud even when your headphones are in. Wait, what?
Some people choose to room with their friends, and some decide to go in completely blindly and hope that their Residence Life staff at their college does a decent job. Where I was going to school, I knew absolutely no one and therefore could not request a roommate. Instead, I filled out a little survey and fact sheet, saying whether I was a night-owl or morning person (Answer: both), what my study habits were, and some of my hobbies and interests, including my major and whatnot. About two months before I left for school, I got an e-mail telling me who was my roommate and who were my two suitemates. All we got was each other's names, where we were from, an e-mail, and if we were lucky, a cell phone number. That's it.
In my case, one of my suitemates decided not to live on campus anymore and about two weeks later, we got a new letter in the mail and e-mail letting us know about the newest addition to our suite. We communicated via e-mail about general interests and who was going to bring what to the room. Other than that, we were four strangers planning to move in together at the end of August. It sounds scary because, for me, it was. I was terrified that they were going to think I was this horrendously weird girl who did not know how to shut up and sang too loudly in the shower and cared too much about what she looked like. On another hand, I had tried to look up the three girls on social media to find out more about what they were like. I found two of the girls, one of them being my roommate. Her Facebook profile was full of, erm, darker interests. The music she liked was heavy, the authors she liked were morbid and depressing, and her profile picture was two slices of bacon, a cute play-on to those equality pictures that a lot of users had for a while. Needless to say, I was absolutely terrified to meet her on move-in day. I was half-expecting Lola Martinez from Zoey 101 (remember when she pretended to be a goth girl?) to be sitting on her bed, doing blood sacrifices and burning incense. My mind likes to wander to the worst places sometimes.
I no longer anxiously awaited move-in day and instead felt scared and nauseous. Let me just tell you now that I was worrying for no reason. Sometimes Facebook can be dangerous when it comes to learning more about someone else. I still have not asked my roommate about her Facebook page and it hasn't come up in conversation either.
Roommates can be tough. You may not get along, or you may get along fabulously. My suitemates and I get along wonderfully. My roommate and I have our differences. We do not fight, but I prefer sitting in silence than chatting with her. And sometimes that is going to happen. There are ways to deal with it, some more proper than others.
Do not verbally fight. It's not worth it, and it will only make things more awkward and tense between you two. Plenty of girls on my floor yell and scream at each other (hell, even the guys do!) over silly matters and it a. annoys the entire floor because the walls are paper thin b. is usually resolvable by a civil conversation.
Leave the room if you are annoyed with something your roommate is doing. I will usually go out into the living room in the off chance that my roommate is actually home and is, for lack of better words, annoying the shit out of me. If you don't have a living room at your dorm, maybe the library, study room, or gym is an option. Headphones were also invented for noisy and irritating roommates, I think. In all seriousness, some loud tunes will drown out them asking their father to do their physics homework for them at midnight.
At the end of the day, you just have to remember that they're only your roommate temporarily. Think of them as a lesson that you have to learn. You need to learn how to tolerate others, share a small space, and practice self-control as smothering them in the middle of the night when they tell you that your music is too loud even when your headphones are in. Wait, what?
Roommates can be tough. I really lucked out my freshman year and my roommate (who I did not know before) has become my best friend in the entire world. But when I transferred colleges and got random roommates my junior year I had a horrible experience, and I totally agree with everything you said. Picking fights with roommates is never worth it, and it can be better to keep out of each others way if you're annoyed.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck!!
Vanessa
www.vanessalangdesign.com
Thanks! Sorry to hear about your junior year experience though! Such a bummer. :\
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