If I Was A Vlogger...

My first thumbnail...

I watch plenty of Youtube videos. I just do. I watch Youtube videos like they're TV shows. It's kind of my thing. There are generally a couple of types of videos I like to watch: beauty tutorials, favorites videos, fashion and styling, Grace Helbig videos and then vlogs. If you are unfamiliar with follow me around vlogs, it's essentially what it sounds like. People film their days and it feels like you're following along with them. I love these videos. I will sit there and watch 24 minutes of Zoe Sugg's day, no problem. When I say this out loud, it sounds a bit silly and weird, but that's fine. I am a lover of vlogs and I'm proud.

The more I watch, the more I think that I can do it. I mean, how hard could it be? Take a bit of footage from my day, pop it into iMovie and try to use my shoddy editing skills to throw together a quick little video. On the surface, seemingly simple. But then it gets to the hard part: what the hell do I do during the day that would be remotely interesting for a vlog? And my answer is always this: nothing. It would be the most mundane and bizarrely weird vlog ever. Since I will never get the chance to actually film one, these would be some of the very Francesca-esque moments that could be  tragically captured on film.

MORNING: 

• My tragic morning hair. Sometimes it's dirty, but it's rarely brushed. Slightly resembles some sort of animal in the wild. Overall, not attractive. 
• Anything pre-coffee. My eyes are a bit smaller from squinting, my undereye circles are out in full force. I look like a shell of a person. 
• Spending fifteen minutes trying to make sure my brow hairs are all plucked and in place.
• Taking ten minutes to do my eyeliner because I cannot focus enough on the application because all I can think about is the coffee that I can have when I'm finished.
• Writing my blog post half an hour before I'm supposed to leave to go to work when I know damn well I should've pre-written it the night before (not that that is happening at this current moment. Nope).
• Driving to work. Vlogging and driving is a terrible idea don't do it unless you have an apparatus in your car that would allow for this. I, for one, would love one, but I am poor and also do not vlog so it would be pointless. 

AFTERNOON: 

• All I do is work. Literally, there would just be a massive gap in my day. Perhaps there would be small cuts to me dancing around on the floor during lulls at work. Or, quite honestly, I just dance around when people are there. I don't care anymore. 
• Let's say that hypothetically, in a dream world, I had a day off of work. I don't do anything. I'm so excited for a day off that I literally lounge in my pajamas all day. I might break out the hula-hoop and do that with "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" playing in the background on repeat. Perhaps I take fifteen minutes to dance around my apartment and spin down the hallways before I eventually get winded and need to lie down on the floor for a few minutes to recover. 
• Reblogging the same photo of Harry Styles on Tumblr with slight variations. Honest to blog, I'd do this for at least twenty minutes. New candids of him came out the other day from a short video clip and let me tell you...heaven.
• Going through the Starbucks drive-thru when I know that there's no line on the inside. There would be footage of me sitting in a car with six cards ahead of me, looking slightly annoyed, though it is more at myself for continuously choosing the drive-thru over going inside when I know that there is always a quicker option that I just fail to choose.

EVENING: 

• Coming home from work and immediately, like seriously immediately, changing out of my work clothes the second I drop my bag off in my room. It's sweatpants central from then on out. 
• Taking twenty minutes to decide what I want for dinner when I literally only have about two options, which are the same two options I have every night because I really only eat about four things. I then get sad about my dinner because it's boring but that's just what happens when you're a picky eater. 
• Bothering my roommates, if they're home. My favorite thing is to just walk by their doors making faces until they notice me. It's not fun if they don't. I usually burst into laughter before they notice me and then I get that fake "oh Fran you're so funny" smile that really means "why do I willingly live with you."
• Hiding in my room for the rest of the night. I will literally sit down and do nothing until I'm ready to go to bed. That's it. I wake up, I go to work, I do and say some weird things, I come home, I eat dinner, I sit idly. Maybe I'll like, try to read a magazine? Heaven forbid I pick up one of the dozens of books I have in my room. Sometimes I try to be productive and pre-write my blog post but if that was the case, it wouldn't be 8:34 a.m. as I finish this blog post right here. 

Other scenes that could potentially be missing from any given day:

• Me, crying over something that shouldn't be cried over. Usually some sort of animal video.
• Me, narrating mundane parts of my life via song. Yes, I like to sing what I'm doing sometimes, even if it's just me washing some dishes or sweeping the floor.
• Jumping on my bed while simultaneously worrying about breaking my bed. 
• Running full force down the hallway and running straight into the door to stop myself. 
• Whispering things to my roommate's chinchilla when she's not home (sorry, Elissa). 
• Laying upside down on the couch begging for something to do. 
• Having a staring contest with the giant stuffed shark that sits at our kitchen table at all times. 
• Checking my bank account balance to see if I can afford coffee. 

And that, my friends, is why I don't vlog. Okay, and just pure laziness. Honestly, it's 99% pure laziness, I'll be really honest with you. But that's okay. Some were born to vlog, some were not. Baby, we were born to vloggggggg. Please forgive me, Bruce Springsteen, and the entire state of New Jersey. Please forgive me.